‘Why are you still single?’
‘When will you be in a relationship with someone?’
‘Why did you break up with him/her?’
‘What happened with that boy/girl?’
‘Where is your significant other?’
‘When are you going to get married?’
Is it just me or don’t you get tired of hearing these types of questions often? As someone who has never been in a relationship, it is very common to expect and hear these kinds of questions from different family members, friends and especially, nosy neighbours for a very long time. I always wonder why they are even trying to make a big deal out of it. It is not like that I am committing a sin by not being in a relationship. By not having a significant other does not mean that it is the end of the world. To avoid being asked about having a boyfriend or girlfriend from family and friends, a lot of people get into a relationship without thinking twice.
At times, single people tend to have a crush on someone, but it only works if the crush likes you back. If not, your feelings will get played with–and it is such a waste of time and you are draining all your energy on something useless. I have been in this kind of situation quite often and recently–which is why I gave up on finding someone to date. Focusing on my goals and rebuilding my life will forget the feeling of not being in a relationship. The right person will eventually find their way to me, to everyone.
Being single is not a problem
I must say that being single is more like a blessing than a curse. It is not an illness that prevents you from living a lifetime. Honestly, being single can be very enjoyable and become much happier as you age. It means that you are more emotionally available and stable to spend time with your family and friends. You should always put yourself first without any hesitations or rumbling guilt. This can help you to discover what you really want to do, be that new passions or talents, by taking as much time as you need.
Many people claim that you are missing out a lot while not being in a relationship. I disagree with this since that is not always the case. When you are single, you can go after and do whatever you want. The whole world is at your fingertips as anything is possible.
When you are in a relationship, you must put someone else’s needs before yours. But being single means you are free to make your own rules and choices. There will be no limitations. Apart from your own fears, nothing will be holding you back. Being single is all about exploring what you want to do with your life. I have seen friends and family members who had dreams and ambitions, but they fell into unhappy relationships and felt compelled to do things that they never wanted or expected. For those who are in relationships, I really appreciate the efforts that you are making for it to work out.
Why people choose to be single?
Being single does not mean that you are always available. There are many reasons why people have chosen to be single rather than be in a romantic relationship with someone:
- Focusing on self-love and personal growth;
- Having more self-quality time;
- Lack of available partners (have not found the one they are looking for);
- The suffer from past relationships and decided to stay single;
- Fear of intimacy;
- Commitment issues;
- Self-esteem is either too high or low;
- Rule-making issues;
- Fear of judgement from parents, friends, family, etc;
- Prioritising career over relationships;
- Totally not interested in having a partner;
- To enjoy a life without any burden, responsibilities, restrictions, etc.
Nonetheless, it is one’s own choice. So, people should not be concerned and even interested to know whether a person is single or not. In addition, they should not judge a person for being single. My own view on this matter is that it is much better to be single rather than being cheated on, lied to and disrespected. Also, relationships can wait as you can always commit to someone else at any age.
‘Being single used to mean nobody wanted you. Now it means you’re pretty sexy and you’re taking your time deciding how you want your life to be and who you want to spend it with.’ –Sarah Jessica Parker
So, all single people out there, please do not worry for not having a life partner yet. Do not feel ashamed to be alone! Take all your time before jumping into a stable and healthy relationship with someone because being single is not that much of a big deal than people really think of.
Written by Fathimath Eemaau Mohamed